How To Talk To Someone with Dementia to Foster Understanding and Connection

For families who have a senior loved one with dementia, there are numerous challenges to wrestle with. One of them is communication. They may repeat the same stories or struggle to come up with words in a conversation. It can be frustrating for them as well as emotionally overwhelming for you to struggle on your own. 

However, it is possible to maintain connection and comfort with your senior loved one. This guide will help you talk to your senior loved one that deals with dementia. It can come in handy for when you are visiting them regularly in a memory care community setting. Let’s discuss everything you need to know so you can engage in gentle conversation with your senior loved one with dementia.

The Raw Reality of Dementia Communication

Dementia is a condition known for affecting memory, reasoning, and language skills. As a result, verbal communication becomes more difficult as the stages advance. Your senior loved one may struggle to follow a conversation or search for words. They may also repeat the same story multiple times. 

However, memory care community staff members are highly trained to communicate with residents with dementia. They often focus on how the resident feels instead of worrying about accuracy. This can be something that you would also focus on as well during your own interactions with your senior loved one. It’s more about dignity, emotional connection, and a sense of belonging as opposed to exchanging facts.

Use a Tone That Is Calm and Reassuring

Did you know that how you say it speaks louder than the words themselves? It’s true. The reason for this is that people with dementia are highly sensitive to emotional cues. They may not understand every word you say, but the tone of voice you use can make a difference.

It’s important to make sure that you use a tone that is gentle. Also, be sure to speak slowly, clearly, and with warmth. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact either while communicating. If you need assistance, a memory care staff member can also be able to help keep the conversations flowing even if you are uncertain of what to do.

Simplicity and Patience Are Key

In communications with your senior loved one with dementia, keep it short and simple. Meaning speak with simple words and short sentences. If you have questions to ask, be sure it’s done one at a time and give them a chance to respond. Do not correct or interrupt them, even if they misstate something or forget the details.

Gentle cues are also something that go a long way. For example, instead of asking questions like “Do you remember Matthew’s 10th birthday party?” you can say in a statement like “Matthew’s 10th birthday party was very fun. His friends came over and it was a beautiful day. You wore your favorite fishing hat that day.” This gives them a chance to hang onto something without the added pressure of remembering something.

Presence over Perfection

Contrary to popular belief, fixing a conversation with a senior loved one with dementia is never a good idea. Instead, it should be based on emotional grounding. Therefore, it’s important to emphasize presence over perfection. For example, if your senior loved one tells the same story multiple times, listen each time as if they told you the first. Don’t panic if they mistake you for someone else and just lean into the moment. 

Use Visual and Sensory Cues

If there is one thing seniors with dementia can respond well to, it’s cues that are visual and sensory, especially in social activities. These include music, photos, scents, objects of certain textures, or anything that can spark recognition and meaningful conversations. For example, put together a playlist of their favorite old songs or have a familiar snack together. Remember that seniors with dementia will often tap into long-term memory that can lead to storytelling or even emotional breakthroughs. 

Respect Their Emotions, Even If They Are Hard To Understand

At times, your senior loved one may experience fear, sadness, or confusion that may seem different from reality. They may say things like “I want to go home” despite already being home. Do not correct them by saying “you are home”. Remember to focus on the feelings and ask questions like “Tell me about home, what do you miss most about it?”

Even if it’s based on a different reality, you can respect their emotional experience while continuing to build trust. This alone can reduce anxiety and other adverse behaviors exhibited by seniors with dementia.

Create an Environment That Is Safe and Supportive

When communicating with a senior loved one with dementia, make sure that it’s done in a quiet, familiar space where there are no distractions. Common environmental factors like background noise and clutter can make it challenging for someone with dementia to focus during conversation. Sit at eye level, be mindful of body language, and try not to make sudden movements.

Foster Meaningful Connections at Adante Assisted Living and Memory Care

At Adante Assisted Living and Memory Care, our entire community layout is thoughtfully and carefully designed for your loved one with dementia. We know that regular visits between residents and their family are always meaningful. 

If you have any questions or wish to set up a tour of our community, contact us at Adante Assisted Living and Memory Care today.